Love is not something that you can put chains on and throw into a lake. That’s called Houdini. Love is liking someone a lot.
Quote, saying and phrase by: Jack Handey Deep Thoughts
Many people do not realize that the snow…
Many people do not realize that the snowshoe can be used for a great many things besides walking on snow. For instance, it can be used to carry pancakes from the stove to the breakfast table. Also, it can be used to carry uneaten pancakes from the table to the garbage. Finally, it can be used as a kind of stainer, where you force pancakes through the strings to see if a piece of gold got in a pancake somehow.
Quote, saying and phrase by: Jack Handey Deep Thoughts
Many people never stop to realize that a…
Many people never stop to realize that a tree is a living thing, not that different from a tall, leafy dog that has roots and is very quiet.
Quote, saying and phrase by: Jack Handey Deep Thoughts
Marta says the interesting thing about f…
Marta says the interesting thing about fly-fishing is that it’s two lives connected by a thin strand. Come on, Marta. Grow up.
Quote, saying and phrase by: Jack Handey Deep Thoughts
Marta said I don’t seem to like to read …
Marta said I don’t seem to like to read fiction very much. ‘I guess you’re not an afictionado’,’ she said. Poor Marta. For all her reading, she doesn’t even know the right word.
Quote, saying and phrase by: Jack Handey Deep Thoughts
Marta likes to talk about sensuality, bu…
Marta likes to talk about sensuality, but I don’t think she would know sensuality if it bit her on the ass.
Quote, saying and phrase by: Jack Handey Deep Thoughts
Maybe in order to understand mankind, we…
Maybe in order to understand mankind, we have to look at the word itself. Mankind. Basically, it’s made up of two separate words—‘mank’ and ‘ind’. What do these words mean It’s a mystery, and that’s why so is mankind.
Quote, saying and phrase by: Jack Handey Deep Thoughts
Most of the time it was probably real ba…
Most of the time it was probably real bad being stuck down in a dungeon. But some days, when there was a bad storm outside, you’d look out your little window and think, Boy, I’m glad I’m not out in THAT.”
Quote, saying and phrase by: Jack Handey Deep Thoughts
Most people don’t realize that large pie…
Most people don’t realize that large pieces of coral, which have been painted brown and attached to the skull by common wood screws, can make a child look like a deer.
Quote, saying and phrase by: Jack Handey Deep Thoughts
My new millionaire idea is one regular s…
My new millionaire idea is one regular shoe and one ‘swollen’ shoe, for when you get bit by a rattlesnake.
Quote, saying and phrase by: Jack Handey Deep Thoughts